Phantom Touch
by Kaline Reine
Summary: Here beneath the poisoned light, I could finally have him… But it was not real. All the while I had longed for him, wanted to claim him, to make him mine… And it had slipped right through my fingers… ItaSasu, Angst, and Yaoi. Don't like it, don't read it.


**Phantom Touch  
Story # 0312  
by Kaline Reine  
**  
**First of all, I just want to say… This story is a gift for and dedicated to Sasha, for being an awesome friend and amazing artist/writer. He's been there with me through anything and everything. I'm proud to call him my friend. Happy Birthday, Sasha. ;)**

**Disclaimer: That being said, I don't own Naruto, it belongs to Kishimoto-sama.**

**WARNINGS: This is an Uchihacest fanfic. It has incest, Itachi X Sasuke, yaoi, sexual relations, brotherly uhm… love? And other dirty things. XD Also, it's going to be sort of sad I think. And there are spoilers for the manga and anime, sorry. Don't like, don't read. And no whining, please.**

* * *

**Chapter 1: **

-Itachi's POV-

I gaze into the mirror, ready to do this again. It's become a nightly ritual for me…

My reality is dismal and gruesome… A dim, cold existence. Maybe that is why I always feel the need to do this. In this place, my world, I can finally have the one I really want. And that is enough to satisfy my needs… For now.

I don't remember how long I've been doing this, but it feels like forever. Yet, it was only a few years ago that I gained my Mangekyou ability. My clan's bloodline limit has become quite useful to me. It's also showing just how very sick I am.

Looking into my own eyes, the eyes of a freak of nature, one with sight that can see beyond what is supposed to be seen… I can see my phantom world already, the Mangekyou Sharingan spinning in my eyes, making crazy red and black spirals. It spins faster, hypnotizing me to the point that I no longer care. I can feel my consciousness slipping away, little by little until it's gone. With cold eyes still open, I stare intently into the glass.

My world fades to black, and then bleeds into red. I am no stranger to this, I've done it a thousand times since that day… I block out everything, except the only person in this world that I want. And then I see him, his face older, more mature. His eyes rake over my body, adoring me… Worshiping my soul. He turns around to face me, welcoming me like I've just come home._ …And I have.  
_  
This is the only thing I care about. I go through all of my missions, do all of the daily tasks that are required in order for me to survive… I live only for this moment, the only time when I am truly free.

Here beneath the poisoned light, I can finally have him… But it is not real. All the while I had longed for him, wanted to claim him, to make him mine… And it had slipped right through my fingers…

Like the finest grains of sand, eroded away by the shoreline… The strongest rocks slowly being chipped away by the falling rain…

He had finally gotten to me, once again.

_ And damn it, I would have him. _

Even in this altered state, my mind still functions perfectly. I'm so glad I thought to do this. It could be dangerous, using the Sharingan in such a way… I do not care. And I find myself caring less and less, as time goes on. What I wouldn't give to be trapped here always; spending forever with the one I adore.

"Nii-san," His tender voice echoes all around us. "You came back."

"Of course I did, Otouto… Your Aniki would never leave you waiting for too long."

The illusion is a good one. It's almost as if he's taken on a life of his own… I wonder sometimes what he does when I'm not here. This time when I show up, he's drinking sake. I didn't know there was sake. Hm…

"It's been four days," Sasuke approaches me, and when he reaches me, he runs his fingers along my chest, taking off my thin robe. "I was afraid you weren't coming back."

"I will always be back, Sasuke…" My face is completely serious now. I know I'm talking to an illusion, just a copy… But it's my fantasy, and if I want to believe it, I will. "I'll never leave you. Never."

His eyes are so intently focused on my own… I want to get lost in them. The red pupils suddenly turn to black, with his red tomoe spinning slowly. It's the opposite of the reality, in which we both have black eyes, which turn to red when the Sharingan is activated.

"Stay with me this time, Aniki…"

"Hn. You're growing more clever. You know that I can't stay with you… Even if I want to." I run my hand down his cheek, following the tears that slide from his face.

Oddly, I like it when he cries. It does things to me… Stirs emotions within me that I never thought I'd feel again. And it makes me wonder if he can see the pain within my soul.

"Relax," He tells me so cunningly. "We have three whole days to be together. No one can disturb us here… Can't you stay, just a little longer?"

"Not this time."

Ironically, that's my answer every time.

I intend to change the subject, by pressing my lips insistently to his own. But he doesn't resist… He never resists. That is how I know it's not real. Sasuke gives in to me, every single time I want something from him. He is my illusion, my clone, and he will do just as I ask.

Why can he never tell that I want him to fight back? …To beg me? To tell me what _he _wants from_ me_, for a change?

Such thoughts are fleeting here, in this backwards wonderland. I am poisoned by his touch, once again… Groaning and grinding my hips to his hand, like an animal… I cannot fight his wicked smirk. Nor can I resist the wanton way he looks at me, with those eyes… Like crystal clear orbs of darkness, taunting me to do more to him.

And I do… Taking his hands, rubbing them all over myself. I know what I want, and so does he… Our tongues slip out to greet one another. I would never be able to share such an intimate knowledge with my little brother, in reality. If I did, his hatred for me would push him to shove me away. That's probably the exact reason why I prefer it better here. We can be together, I can have what was meant to be mine all along. And I know it's greedy of me to do this, but… I don't care!

"Mmm…" He lets out the first of many moans, and I follow, as we devour each other. "Touch me, Aniki…"

See? The real Sasuke would never do something so… Lascivious.

"Hai…" I gasp when he squeezes my arousal. I stroke his in return, hearing him cry out, pleading for more.

"Please, Aniki… Make me cum… Nnngh!"

I don't have the heart to tell him that he's begging for the wrong thing. I want him to want me to stop. Because that's what the real Sasuke would do. You would think I'd have more control over my own illusion, though. Or maybe I'm just a sadist like that.

"Soon, Otouto… Shhh…"

I kiss him to get him quiet, and as soon as he complies, I flip him over. I cannot wait any more.

It is like this that we commit the ultimate sin… I am thankful no one else knows about this. It's so wrong. The things we do together just… aren't healthy. I know it, and yet, I can't seem to stop in spite of myself. I might as well go with it. We both want to get some relief now.

And that is just what we do…

"Are you ready?"

"I'm always ready for you, Aniki," He purrs seductively. "Now fuck me… Please?"

Once again, he's begging for the wrong thing. I long to hear him ask me for something else, but he doesn't seem to know.

I hear his whines, his pleading cries as his hips move forward into my hand, then back against my legs, begging for friction. I'll give it to him. And so much more…

My emotions rise to a fever pitch, as I feel myself slip so easily into his body. The best part about this is that there's no waiting. He's already prepared himself for me, slick and oiled. His warm grip slides over my flesh, making me shiver with pure delight as I thrust into him. Melting into the core of his very being, I can feel us become one. But then… We were always one to begin with. Maybe that is why it feels so natural like this. With a clone… A part of myself that I have sealed away inside my head, to take Sasuke's place. Though it's pointless, because no one ever could replace him. Not in my heart.

We fuck for hours on end… All seventy-two of them, to be precise. It's always like this.

We keep on with our activities, never stopping and letting it build up for days on end. We don't need to eat, we were never alive to begin with… Yet it's all so real. I can feel him, clenching my cock so tightly within himself each time I move deeper into him. I reach around to wrap my hand firmly over his cock, stroking the hard silky flesh.

Ironic that something intended to cause others to feel pain, can make us feel so much pleasure. This wasn't the way the Mangekyou was intended to be used. It was meant as a weapon, to punish those who have crossed us. Not as a way to entertain our deepest, darkest, sickest fantasies.

Over the course of the time we spend together, we switch positions several times. He flips us over, until he's riding me, begging for more of my cock the whole time. I buck my hips up, shifting upward, into his warmth. Then we flip over again, and this time he's facing me, staring up into my eyes…

It's that look that I can't take. I'm such a sadist, that I feel the need to torture myself with his cold gaze. I shudder now, feeling my sweet release drawing near.

"Sasuke…" I breathe. "_My_ Sasuke…"

"Yes…" He cries for more. "I'll always be yours! Yes, yes! Ohhh, yes!"

He cries out his sweet release at precisely the right moment as I… And then it all fades away. I'm pulled away, sucked back into the reality that I despise so.

I cough, as I awaken from the morbid illusion. My self-induced hypnotism takes it's toll on me every day. I can feel it, slowly eating away at me from the inside… That's the reason that I cough up blood, but I'll never admit it.

I check the time. Only one minute has passed. I smirk to myself, wondering how much longer I can truly keep this up… How much longer until doing this, breaking one of the most ancient and sacred rules of the Sharingan, will affect me? I know that it will kill me, with this incurable disease… Deadly poison that slowly rots my soul, turning me into something I don't even recognize.

On the outside, I'm still the same…

I'll never tell anyone of the time I've shared with him. It's the knowledge that he is waiting for me that gets me through from one day to the next. Just knowing that for three sweet days, that seem only an instant, I can have my Sasuke at last…

* * *

-Sasuke's POV-

I don't know how I thought to do this. It's pure madness, it's got to be. That's the only way someone would even try this. And I know it's stupid, but… I can't wait any more. I've been trying so hard not to this, but I have to. It's become an addiction now.

Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath in front of the mirror. Slowly I open them, trying to see into my own soul. Maybe if I could do that, I could figure out whether my intentions are good or bad. But I already know… They're bad.

I can't say with certainty how long I've been doing this. In my mind, I do it all the time. And when I'm not doing it, I'm thinking about it.

Of course everyone knows I think about him. No one would ever suspect that I think of the man that I hate in such a way… Surviving in an unsightly way… Yeah, I'd say this is pretty unsightly alright. Not to mention pathetic. I can barely believe what I am being reduced to, all because of him. I hate him, but I love him too. He's my brother, and it will always stay that way. No matter what happens, if we fight or love one another in this way… Nothing would change. He would still be my brother. Even if we were to die.

I'm not worried about that right now. My only concern is with the pretty red swirls that cloud my eyes, as I let the Mangekyou take hold. It will only be a matter of minutes before I feel the effects.

As soon as I find myself under this warped kind of self-hypnosis, Itachi pounces on me. I look up at him, and it's like seeing him for the first time. Against the vivid background of red and black, there is no escape. I fight for air, as he takes my breath away with heated kisses and soothing strokes.

I know Itachi would probably be a little more kind and caring with me… But it's my fantasy, and it can be as kinky as I want it. I want him to use me, abuse me, make me feel complete again. And that is what he will do. _…For me._

"I'll do anything you want…" He whispers in my ear, moving over me to cover me with his perfect, sculpted body.

I sweep a strand of raven hair out of his flawless face, and pull him closer to me. Sometimes I like him to be rough, and sometimes I always like him to be gentle… But no matter what I want, he is always the same… Nice, sweet, affectionate, and romantic with me. …I don't get it. My goal this time is to make him break.

"Then do me."

I don't like talking to him. Not only because it's a waste of time since he is only an illusion, but also because words are unnecessary between the two of us. Even as children, we've always had a way of understanding one another without words. They only get in the way, and I know this as well as he does.

The only thing that is necessary right now is to feel pleasure. We both want it, I can sense his desire for me. It's almost as strong as my overwhelming desire for him.

I begin to lose myself to the fantasy more and more… With every pass of his sweet lips over my skin; with every beat that pulses through my empty heart; with every breath that mingles, hanging in the distance that lies between us… I can feel myself losing to him; surrendering completely. But I am not afraid.

"Mmf, Nii-san…" I try not to talk but I can't stop myself now. It's been weeks since I have allowed myself to feel the pleasure of his touch. I've been trying to fight it. "That f-feels so good… Ah!"

"Kiss me, Otouto…"

Ah, now we're back to using pet names. So they're not really pet names, they're the normal names that brothers are supposed to call each other. But the way he says it is so affectionate…

I can't think when my lips touch his. His tongue slips into my mouth, and I can just imagine it doing countless wonderful things to me, as it works over my body… Now he's sliding down my chest, sucking my nipples one at a time, and making me shiver. He smiles up at me, and I know he won't hurt me… Even so, I still get a sick, twisted thrill from this.

Neither of us were wearing any clothes to being with. I like it that way. There's nothing to get in the way of our insatiable hunger for one another.

I move my hands over his back as he moves further down, his tongue slipping into my navel as my nails rake across his back. I'm claiming him and at the same time, he's trying to claim me.

"Mhmmmm, ohh… Yes!"

His lips close around the tip, and it's all I can do not to buck my hips to meet that searing warmth. His mouth is wonderful… Talented and like hot silk on the inside. I could do this all day… And we do. He never gets tired, and he never does anything other than just what I want. …Sometimes that makes me sick. I wish he'd do something_ he_ wanted, for a change. That's the only thing that ruins it.

My eyelashes flutter closed in pure pleasure. I look down. He looks up. Our eyes meet. This is real to me. This is just the two of us. _It's really him. _

"Ugh… Fuck, Itachi!"

"Tsk, tsk," He pretends to scold me and I pretend to pout. "Such naughty language. Are you being a naughty boy again, foolish Otouto?"

I can't answer. It's getting too hot in here, and I can barely stand it. Even another second without him inside me is agony.

"Y-yes…"

I feel my brother's strong, capable hands making me turn over, exposing myself to him. "Bend over so I can punish you…"

His breath is on the back of my neck now, raising goosebumps and making my hair stand on end. Itachi's presence never fails to send chills through me. And to have him doing things like this to me? It's so much more than I can take. I'm practically melting beneath his touch by this point… He's molesting me, and it's bad, but it feels so good. I never want it to end.

I'm blushing at his gentle administrations, not quite knowing what he has in store for me, but loving every minute of it.

Now I feel his breath on my lower back. He's moving down, and I squirm a little, not knowing what to do. This is new… Itachi and I have done things, but never anything like this. I know where he's heading and it's- Oh fuck yes!

That tongue… That wonderfully talented tongue is shifting between my cheeks, and… Oh god! He's licking my-

"Itachiiii!" I whine.

He smacks his lips. "Delicious." I think he's doing it just to humiliate me, but I don't care. There's nothing embarrassing about feeling this kind of pleasure.

I won't make it easy on him. "Let me help you now…"

He knows I have that wicked gleam in my eyes again, but he doesn't seem to be too put off by it. He leans against a solid, black wall that I didn't notice before. Was it there? I don't care, I only want to devour the beautiful body that's sprawled out against it. Itachi always did love to show off…

I lean down to kiss him, while he lies there lazily reclined. He pulls my tongue into his mouth with ease, and I tease him a little, pulling away and moving down. I only want to make him feel good right now; to hear him moan my name for a change.

He knows this is different, but he doesn't seem to care. Itachi moans when he feels me lick around his navel. The muscles in his stomach twitch, just enough for me to catch a change in his breathing.

"Mhmmmh… That feels so good…" He tilts his head back, resting it on the wall.

I keep going, and soon I'm sucking him. I can feel his hardness pulsing in my mouth, and it's making my cheeks bulge out. I don't care how stupid I might look. He's still enjoying himself. That is… until I stop. I notice his slight annoyance, and it makes me smirk.

I've had enough. I get up, and straddle his hips immediately. He puts his fingers to my lips and I know why… I lick them all over, coating them with my saliva so he can have an easier time. Before I can do anything, his hand moves around me. We kiss again, practically eating each other alive. I feel his fingers pressing insistently, begging for entrance. But he knows he doesn't have to beg. Soon he presses in one finger, then two, and he's stretching me, getting me ready for what is to come next.

I know he plans to take me. That's what we always do. But he's not going to get it so easily this time. I take over, straddling his hips.

"Ahhh, Nii-san..." I moan, positioning myself over his rigid shaft.

It's all Itachi can do not to flex his hips into my tight little ass. And I know he loves it. I can see his expression, and I can feel his lust burning through me. It's a savage, brutal feeling as I'm forced down onto his erection by his strong hands, the hands that belong to a killer, guiding me along.

Hn. Too bad it isn't just lust that I crave from him. I really am a sadist. It hits me in a flash of feeling, and then it's gone again. Only it's too late now, and it's already had an impact. He can tell I'm starting to feel strange, and he falters in his strokes for just a moment.

"No," My brother tells me from below. "Don't give in, Sasuke. Stay with me…"

"Our time is running out, Aniki…" I still can't keep the Mangekyou going for a full Seventy-two hours yet. It's too much for me; I haven't had it long enough to be able to control it to such an extent. "I'll see you again."

He kisses me, and tries in vain to hurry up. I fuck him against the wall, riding him, and he's still balls deep in me. I never want this feeling to end. Just as I feel him hitting my sweet spot, I start to panic. …We're running out of time.

"Faster, Aniki. Please."

He doesn't say anything, he just keeps doing what he does best. Lurching upwards, I feel him spearing into me, filling me completely, stretching me so wide… I just know Itachi has to have a monstrously huge cock. There is no way he wouldn't. It's so kinky to be doing this with my own brother… No wonder this is my favorite position, it feels so damn good.

"Ohhh Sasuke…"

It's the moment we've both been waiting for; when the erotic feeling that's been coiled up tight just releases like a spring, coming unbound… Squirts of liquid, as black as the night here in the backward world of the Mangekyou, come from my straining flesh.

I can feel him letting loose inside of me, too. His seed pouring into me, and filling me even more… Leaving me with a reminder of our time together. If this were reality, I might be bothered to complain. But here, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Finally, I fall into his arms, exhausted from pleasuring myself with his beautiful body. He strokes my hair, but his fingers are sticky and they keep getting caught.

My will is too weak, and I can't keep it up. The fabric of this realm seems to be unraveling. I have no choice but to leave now. I hate leaving like this, every time… I can't wait to be stronger, so I can spend more time with my older brother. Even if it is just an illusion, it's the sweetest one I've ever experienced.

"Sayonara, Otouto…" Itachi tells me.

"Goodbye Aniki. I-"

I'm looking at myself in the mirror now. I look down to find a sticky white mess in my lap. I'm astonished… I can't believe it was so intense… Like a wet dream, but better. _Much_ better.

I find my hand has found it's way to rest against the smooth, cool mirror. It feels like his heart. Icy as stone.

"I'll see you again…" I whisper faint words into the empty air.

* * *

-Itachi's POV-

Every now and then, he crosses my mind… When that happens, I can't control myself anymore. It's getting worse and worse. I always cherish the time we've had together… Even if I had to steal it using the Mangekyou.

I know it's not real, he can't feel it too. It's nearly as lonely as masturbation. It practically is.

I take a deep breath, when I find myself kneeling before the same mirror again. The one I had insisted be installed in my room, at the Akatsuki base. The others had teased me, and called me vain and conceited for it. If they knew it's true purpose, I'm sure they would have far worse things to say to me.

I long to see him again. I wish with all my heart that this could just be real. Even if it didn't last… Just to have him again. The thrill of feeling him shivering beneath my heated touches, and writhing like a dancer. Even if it was just as a brother, and never anything more, I would still feel this way about him. Maybe all that has happened between us has warped my mind so much that I can't tell the difference between a brother and a lover anymore. Or maybe it never mattered.

And I know I cannot keep going like this, when every day without him is nothing but pain for me… I just want to hold him in my arms one last time. Even if he's not loving me in the way that I want.

"It's better to have you this way, than none at all, Otouto…" I mutter, hoping somehow he'll hear me.

I wish he could… I have no one to tell. If anyone knew this terrible secret that I am hiding, I would probably be killed. Or worse… Sasuke could be killed. The Akatsuki do not like for us to let such things as emotions get in our way.

It's so different here… Everyone is the exact opposite of my Sasuke. …When did I start referring to him as mine?

* * *

-Sasuke's POV-

I wish it was real. Even if it was, I could not have it…

Revenge is what drives me. I know now that this was all a mistake. I've gotten even better now. I can hold my own in the world of the Mangekyou, making it last for as long as I need to be with him.

I've used it on enemies too, of course. Though in a very different way than how I treat my brother. I suppose it might be better if I practiced killing him, rather than loving him. My analytical mind wants me to… Knowing it would be better if I were a little more prepared for the future. Reality is a grim, unmoving thing. Like an enormous stone burdening my shoulders, weighing me down with rage.

I take a deep breath, knowing this was never meant to be easy. I'll have to stop doing this, if I want to survive. I always knew that we would fight someday, and it would all have to end.

_Today is that day… _

I am not sure how I feel, or if I feel anything at all about what I am about to do. Itachi told me where to meet him, and he knew I had to go. To kill my only brother…

"We need to talk." That's how he greets me?

He's looking at me with his eyes now, and I can barely stand it. "Fuck you, Itachi!"

I hate him. I hate him so bad I can't stand it… But I am the only one that knows that deep within the seething rage there lies a kind of love. …The kind that's forbidden. I can feel it, and I often wonder if he does. But when I look at him, I don't see even a shred of what is left of love.

The fight lasts for a long time, but at first he doesn't seem to really have the heart to hurt me. I can hurt him though. In exchange for so many years of leaving me to my fate, to suffer with no hope of relief. I've kept this burden inside me for long enough. And it's time to end it.

Each time I lunge for him, he evades so easily.

The battle goes on and on, until I don't think I can take it anymore. I barely notice the details. They don't matter anymore. I'm too far gone; too consumed by my deep hatred, to even know or care. I know there were times when I thought I'd won, but didn't. And I grew tense each time he drew near enough to touch me. Not because I was afraid of him pleasuring me… I knew he only wanted to take my eyes for his own. At one point, he even said so. And he came close to succeeding.

Revenge is what has always driven me. In the end… I strike the final blow with the mindset of what it means to be an avenger. That is what I am, and that is what I always will be.

* * *

-Itachi's POV-

I look at him. My Sasuke, my perfect mirror image… And I find it's just like looking into a mirror. That leads to thoughts of the things that I actually do in front of a mirror… Which leads to memories of our time together… The delicious acts that I stole from a copy of him. I realize now that it was only a cheap imitation. The clone inside my head will never be my brother. A cheap imitation could never even begin to do him justice.

Before I can say anything, he is coming straight for me. I can see the malice in his eyes, his angry glare staring daggers of ice right through me. I can't seem to break away enough to attack him. I know we need to fight, but I just can't. Still, I managed to keep my emotionless mask in place.

Not right now. I need to feel him, to be able to reach him… "We need to talk." I can always try to reason with him.

"Fuck you, Itachi!"

He is beyond reason. His heart has been consumed by the most potent anger and rage. His hatred toward me has grown a thousand-fold. That was just what I wanted it to do… I was a fool. I thought it would make this easier. Thought I would be able to trick myself into believing that I really was the villain. If I try to tell Sasuke the truth, he will never be able to believe me anyway. There were times when I've thought of telling him before, but the opportunity had never presented itself before.

The irony is that I had just finished fucking him, hours ago in my mind. I wish he could feel it now, to remember what it felt like. My illusion was shattered the moment those words left his sultry lips. Because he was saying 'Fuck you Itachi' and not 'Please fuck me, Nii-san'. That is what always ruins it for me… What a spiteful little bastard he's turned out to be.

The battle rages on and on. I have no idea how long we've been fighting but it feels like forever. We say things to each other that have little meaning, if any at all… Words do not matter between us. They never have. It's part of the bond that we share, as brothers.

I try to tell him without telling him. That doesn't make sense, and he can't make sense of it either, but I know the moment he touches me that it's all over.

I reach for his eyes, and I know he means to win, but… Something happens at the last moment, and I can't move. I do my best to give him the gift that I never could give him in life. I want him to have this part of me, forever… I'm certain he won't abuse it any more than I have. _…My Amaterasu._ He will need it, if he's going to finish what I started.

He is the only one I will allow to kill me. The only person in this world that I would ever let near enough to hurt me.

"Nii-san." He swears under his breath.

"Forgive me, Sasuke…" I manage to rasp the rest of the words out. "There won't be a next time…"

Smiling, I wonder if there will be any remnants of our time together. I still remember them, and that's all that matters. Even as I fall to the ground, I don't feel it. I am still somehow able to smile, thinking of Sasuke and the bond that we used to share when we both were young.

My soul is taken back from the world, dragged back to a dismal gray place where I am alive for the first time, but dead… I reach out my hand, wanting to feel my beloved little brother one last time.

…And I cannot reach him anymore.

* * *

-Sasuke's POV-

I watched him die…

…I can't believe I just watched Itachi, my own brother, die. And I'm the one who killed him.

_Then why does it feel like I'm dying too? _

I don't ever want to hear the answer to that question. I don't want to think about it anymore. I've made it back now, and I'm not feeling well. I can still feel his ice cold grip, as we lay together for the last time. He allowed me to lay with him there, not even moving when I sat down beside him. I needed to rest, and so did he… Now he could finally rest in peace.

Hn. That was his favorite word; _Peace._

Perhaps because it was the only thing he could never have? I'll never know the real reason. I can only speculate. _  
_  
Madara's been telling me the truth, and it's so much more than I can stand… All those years of believing that he hated me, that he never cared about me… That he abandoned me. Why do I feel poisoned by the truth?

_I just want to scream! _

I killed the only person who has ever cared for me. And now, I have to live with it. That's enough thinking; I'm physically and mentally exhausted. More than anything, I regret what I've done.

Within me, still beats the heart of an avenger. I will avenge not only my clan, but the death of the one I love too. He can't have sacrificed all of that for nothing.

Madara said not to use the Mangekyou again for a long time. But I need this right now. I can't wait any longer. I need to see Itachi again, even if he's just an illusion, trapped inside my mind. That is better than being without him completely. If I can see him, I can apologize. I can cope.

I lock eyes with myself, and immediately I am pulled into the backwards wonderland that always awaits me here. And there he is… My Nii-san, my Itachi. …When did I start calling him mine? I'll never know.

"I've waited for you, Otouto," He looks glad to see me. But then he realizes my pain. "…Why are you crying?"

I hesitate, before I burst. "I can't stand this pain, it hurts so much, Aniki!"

Wrapping my arms around him, I sob into his sleeve. That's when I realize he's wearing clothes… The same clothes from when we were kids. Ah, I understand. I don't need him to be sexy for me right now. What I need most at the moment is a brother, so that is what the illusion will be for me.

"I know Otouto, but it's okay… I'm right here."

He moves my hair out of my tear-soaked face so kindly… He's not even angry with me. I was sure he would be. I did kill him, after all.

"Let me make it better for you. I'll make it all go away…"

I smirk at him, knowing what he is implying. But… "That's not what I want."

"Oh?" He looked surprised.

"Just… Can you just hold me, Aniki?"

He nods, stroking the back of my neck, and holding me tightly against his chest. If not for this moment, I would surely cease to exist. I cannot go on without Itachi. I need him, more than anything.

We stay like this for hours… And I never want it to go away. I'm back in his arms, and it's the only place that I ever want to be. I touch him, and I can feel him. He is real, this is real. We are real… That's the first rule of reality. If I can see it and touch it and feel it, then it exists.

I find myself thinking back to something he told me during the fight… Itachi said that reality is all just an illusion. And if that's true… Then maybe, just maybe, what's happening now is real. I really am back in my brother's loving arms. Itachi is still here, he did not die. He never will, because we are eternal. And we'll always be together like this, inseparable. We're so close that we don't even need words.

I can feel it as the world fades away, his hands slipping at last from my tight, uneven grasp. I want to cling onto him, to drag him back into this world with me. …And I'd never let go. I never will; because I can't.

I feel reality shrinking so intensely around me, and I'm lying back on the mattress now, getting some rest for the war that I know is about to come.

…

…

And I'm just a lonely little boy, lying there…_ Waiting for my brother to come home._

…

* * *

**  
A/N: This was based on the idea of Sharingan users being able to use it on themselves in the mirror. I don't care if it might not be possible… What if it was? XD Yeah, and I'm sorry for the angst. I know the fight wasn't exactly accurate but I suck at fighting scenes, so I just sort of summarized that whole bit, except for the beginning and the end. That should be okay. It's not meant to be exactly accurate, it's a story.**

**I don't really have anything else to say… But I hope you liked it and enjoyed reading. (: Thank you.**

**And MOST importantly… Happy Birthday Sasha. ;)**

**-Kaline Reine**


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